I AM

I am Benner.

I am the Anti-Borg.



Hear me roar,

L

Danger, Will Robinson, DANGER!

As I made my breakfast this morning, some giggles escaped as I recalled a surreal sight from a few days earlier.

It was pouring rain as Newf and I drove through the city. Suddenly, my eye caught sight of a senseless senior standing in her driveway. She was a tiny thing with tightly curled white hair, and every other attribute one would assume a cute little old lady to have (including the tight-lipped grimace).

The woman stood firmly planted in a puddle, both hands tightly grasping a mighty and massive leaf blower. For whatever reason, the lady was hell-bent on blowing the wet leaves clumped and congregating in her driveway.

At first glance, the whole scene seemed merely silly, not stupid. Why this lady needed to clear leaves from her driveway on a sopping wet, soaker of a morning was questionable, but certainly not crazy. What was a little nutty was the fact that this lady was using an electric leaf blower. Not a word of a lie - this woman stood soaking wet, gripping her blower with gut-so, a long yellow extension chord trailing from the blower to the nearest available electrical outlet.

Did I mention it was raining really hard?

As I described the scene to Newf, interchanging chuckles with concern, he matter-of-factly glanced in my direction and said: "Lindsay, when you get to be that age you just don't give a fuck anymore."

Fast forward to this morning. As I made my breakfast, I couldn't help but be saddened by the idea of a funky, fearless lady who no longer cared about her safety. That's exactly when my bagel got stuck in the toaster.

Naturally, I grabbed a fork to fish it out.

I looked at the fork, and then looked at the burning bagel as said, "Fuck it, I'm going to fork it."

Let's just say that I lived to tell the tale. My breakfast was saved - and that little lady got her driveway cleared. It was a lesson well-learned: sometimes, rules are made to be broken.

Sounds good to me.

Your dangerous diner,

L

PS. Please let me stress that this is a humorous piece, and is in no way meant to suggest that holding electrical equipment while standing in a puddle (or in any way covered in moisture) is a good idea. Please do not try this at home.

PPS. Just in case, I should also stress that inserting metal objects into electrical appliances is also a bad idea. You can try this at home, but don't hold me responsible if you die or get harmed in any way. You may also ruin your hair.

Music Monday: It's A Wicked World

Good morning boys and girls!

After a long hiatus I've finally got a musical Monday morning for you.

This week I am featuring the enchanting Laura Jansen!

She's a serious femme fatale who seems to be newish to the scene. I only just heard of Ms. Jansen the other night, when she performed live on Craig Ferguson (my favourite late night comedy king).

Her single completely caught me off guard - I really liked it! This lovely lady writes about her life (most recently a breakup) and according to her website, today's catchy track "urges listeners to uncurl from the fetal position, grab some friends, and go have fun." Further, Jansen describes, " 'That song is about how it's time to go out and meet some men. It's time to do some drinking, because being depressed is getting old."

Now, I haven't suffered a nasty breakup, but that doesn't mean I don't sink with sadness.

It's Monday. Even worse, it's Monday morning.

Unless you salivate at the sour, you, too, could use a little bit more fun. I know I could.

Check out her cheeky video, I'm almost positive it'll make you smile:

Did you smile? Honestly? I cracked a full grin once Hansel and Gretel hit the screen.

Personally, I love a good rule breaker, a cliche kicker, or just a good old play on life.

Laura Jansen, your jolly little tune brightened my day. Thanks for the solid song.

Finding fun with fairy tales,

L

My Fashion Forward Friday

Well, my friends, welcome to my fun-filled Friday!

Today, I provided the lovely Sasha Jones with some fodder for her fabulous fashion-minded blog! If you like pretty dresses, mad makeup and curly-cue hair take a look!

Even if you don't, take a little look at Sasha's blog, LA Inspiration, for some sun-soaked stories (straight from LA).

Hope you have a fabulous weekend!

Waiting for the weekend,

L

I'm back (for now)!

So, is it time to jump back into the blogging world?

I think so.

I wonder how long I'll hold out this time.

Your cheeky little bugger,

L

Wordless Wednesday: Storm Front VI

It's been a gusty night in London, Ontario, my freaky friends!

Lots to discuss, but for now, my best shot of the night:



This storm was like nothing I have ever experienced before.

My thoughts if the thunder or tornadoes thrashed you tonight,

L

Music Monday: Disease-d

My fresh-faced friends,

Mondays are always a little rough.

And Matchbox 20's Disease is so smooth (pun intended).



You've gotta love a good taped live show. Find the official video here.

And that's all I've got to say about that.

Digging the disease (but not the early morning),

L