Wordless Wednesday: My Newfs, With Words

I have some quick photos to share. A rare glimpse into the life that is mine.

The Beast and the Newf, aloof and without bribes.

The Beast and the Newf, much happier, after being bribed with fish.

Never underestimate the power of a Newf's stomach.

Have a good one.

It's a wonderful Wednesday,

L

A Little Tease, A Little Tired

Booyah.

I have some big news brewing. It is rather exciting for me and I cannot wait to share.

I want to have a chance to chat with the Newf, make it official and then I will discuss further.

Right now I am so tired I can't see straight. In an attempt to reset my inner clock I stayed up all night and I am hurting today. It is obvious I am no longer a spring chicken.

I guess that makes me a hen. Cluck cluck, baby.

Strutting and sleepy,

L

Music Monday: Yolanda Be Cool (I Assure You This Is)

Good morning my friends!

Just in case the extra hour of sleep didn't make you smile enough, I've got a special double feature for you.

This video was sent to me by the oh so lovely My Girl Thursday. This lovely lady really is a dame, and completely witty. She's far from normal and that alone is worth a look; we appreciate anything out of the box over here.

There is no room for normal.

According to this doll, this video has been viral for awhile now (I'm always late) but just in case, I thought it was worth a look.

The song is catchy, and I believe the first pop song featured on Music Monday.

Released on an Australian label earlier this year, the track samples a 1956 song "Tu duo fa l'americano", written by Renato Carosone and Nicola "Nisa" Salerno. This Neapolitan language hit was one of Renato's most famous songs and was recently remade by our featured artist.

Have a jump and jive to "We Speak No Americano", remade by Yolanda Be Cool.

Isn't that impressive? The hand-eye coordination and memory required is just mind boggling; not to mention the straight faces, I think I'd burst! Unlike the song, their routine omits any kind of chorus in movement and they look so much alike they could be twins (I really hope they are).

The pair isn't bad looking either. He can feed me grapes (or whatever), whenever he wants. The Newf has a similar opinion of the hand-dancing miss. All is fair. . .

Anyways, I digress. Keep in mind that this is not the track's official video but just a feat of finger field events. Hopefully that extra hour of sleep has me as ready and rearing to go as their hot hands.

Did you enjoy your extra hour of sleep this weekend? Was it put to good use or completely squandered? What did you do to celebrate?

Have a fabulous week!

Dancing with my digits,

L

Showing My Geeky Side: Gaming Giggles

Good evening my darlings, how was your weekend?

Did you enjoy the extra hour of sleep this morning?

I sure did. So much so, I got giddy and decided to share a few pics that (actually) made me laugh out loud.

Enjoy, and happy Sunday.

Surfing on a Sunday,

L

Breaking News (and the Rules), One Ball of Yarn at a Time

Oh goodness, it would only happen to me.

After spending the last couple of days surrounded in illness I woke up feeling marginally better. Seeing as it is just gorgeous outside, I thought a walk downtown was in order.

Fresh air always does a body good.

The Beast was game so I clipped him to his leash and off we went. After stopping at the yarn store and the library we headed home.

It then became apparent the streets were oddly quiet. On a hunch, I checked the news.

Apparently a giant chemical cloud has escaped and Toronto residents are being "ordered" to stay indoors. I suppose I should have checked the news before I left, I just didn't expect a big ball of fury to be unleashed on the city.

I'm pretty far from the blanket of acid leaking from 10 Chemical Court, so maybe I'll head back to the yarn store later tonight.

I'm just that dangerous. Nobody "orders" me to do anything. Booyah.

With burning eyes,

L

Happy Halloween: A Foiled Pumpkin Plan

'Tis the Halloween season. Perhaps the best party season of the year, we were treated to have Friday and Saturday devoted to the evening of the dead. Sure, Christmas is fun, but all the eggnog can get a little boring (and never settles well with rum).

You know what does settle well with rum? A hot costume on a deliciously healthy body.

In the past I have held Halloween parties with a vengeance. One of my (and my roommates') best was a costume keg party, complete with Texas mickeys, random handcuffing and a live psychic.

This year, however, we were not as lucky. This year, the Newf, the Beast and myself have been fighting the stomach flu. Sexy. There has been so much fluid floating around here that we don't know which way is up; adding booze did not seem prudent (we only have one toilet).

Regardless of the bugs and bodily waste we thought it important to send a shoutout to one of the best holidays of the year. We had to set up on the sidewalk, close to the action and close to the kids. The Newf and I had an idea, one we had seen executed perfectly in the past.

We planned to plunk a pumpkin on my head, stuff my clothes with straw and set me up next to a bowl of candy. The Newf was going to lurk in the bushes with a video camera. When the unsuspecting children helped themselves I was going to jump to life and scare the living daylights out of these kids (and hopefully their parents).

If only we had gotten that far.

It took me forever to find a pumpkin. Apparently city folk have one size pumpkin: small. My head is size unusually large. We spent $30 on a pumpkin, thirty dollars, but it was a massive pumpkin. I scooped the guts out and drew a face on the bad boy while the Newf was at work. A hole was carefully carved in the bottom to ensure a tight, but comfortable, fit.

We had to give up on straw. Apparently city folk have no straw either; leaves would have to do. What they feed their livestock I do not know.

At the appointed hour I stuffed my clothes full of leaves (I assure you, it is not comfortable) and waddled out to the required chair.

With our plan ready to go and the sun setting the Newf hit the bushes. It was then I felt the gurgle; it was the gurgle of death.

"Newf, I don't feel so hot."

"Really? Are you okay?" the Newf inquired.

"Yeah, I guess. I just, I really don't feel good."

"Linds, you were fine five minutes ago. It is probably just nerves, you've always been the nervous type;" Newf suggested. "Besides, I think I see some kids!"

"Newf, I don't feel good, I gotta go."

"Lindsay, you are a scarecrow now. Scarecrows don't have stomachs, they have nerves of steel. Take a deep breath, it'll be fine. I promised you won't get arrested. There is a whole group of kids coming!"

I took a deep breath and that's when it all ended. We were so close.

I threw up in my pumpkin.

Not only did I vomit in the orange ball of bitterness, but I was trapped. I ended up on all fours, bringing up bile like it was going out of style, blindly pawing at the pumpkin, while a group of children watched. The Newf was laughing so hard he forgot to tape the scene (there is a God).

When I finally pulled my head out it was covered in puke. I had spew dripping down my face, pooling under my shirt collar and even up my nose.

"Cool!" one of the kids exclaimed. Not only was my plan thwarted, but these kids thought this was all a stunt.

"Oh really?" I questioned, still pissed off that my $30 pumpkin was now filled with the product of my purging.

I stepped towards the group and the kids' mother lost her cookies.

At least all was not lost: I was cool. She is just weak.

Needless to say, the Newf passed the candy out and I took a shower. There are no pictures; at least, there better not be.

Hope your tricks went as planned. Did you dress up?

Pickled in puke,

L

Music Monday: Cooper is Creepy

Good morning, my ghosts and goblins! I hope you had a horrifying weekend.

Seeing as we only recently had our socks rocked off, it seemed only fitting that we enjoy a scary tune to jump-start our week.

This week was exciting; I wanted to avoid the obvious choices and yet find something really soul wrenching.

I turned to creepy Alice Cooper, because this guy always gets the job done. Mr. Cooper has been around forever. We still have some vinyl kicking around from my Mom's dangerous days; she is still dangerous, but maternal at the same time. Think Mrs. Adams, but in colour (and pearls).

The interesting thing about this song is it was actually released in 2003, on Cooper's "The Eyes of Alice Cooper" record. The album actually had four different cover art versions; the only difference being the colour in Mr. Cooper's eyes. You can choose from blue, green, purple and red.

How thoughtful, you can match your album to your decor.

While you are choosing colours, please enjoy Alice Cooper's "This House is Haunted".

Please note the video above is not affiliated with Mr. Cooper, but was created by highwayrobberyrocker. The pictures are certainly interesting, but don't let the imagery overpower the poetry. Isn't this song darkly romantic?.

It creeps me right out. I can't help but think, that, maybe this is how you feel after your companion, the love of your life, passes.

Thoughts?

What Cooper colour would you choose?

Don't kid yourself into thinking this is it for the creepy crawlies. You may deck your halls next (or nosh on turkey for my American friends) but the ghosts will be close behind. The Christmas ghosts are the worst; who wants to focus on the past or present? Even worse, who wants to talk about the future?

Where does that leave us? Running; running from time, life and possibly turkeys.

I hope you've got some speed.

Giddy about ghosts,

L