Saturday, April 23, 2011

The Bomb: In More Ways than One

Hesitation… ambivalence… doubt… indecision. Uncertainty.

To you nasty little feelings that creep up into my mind and make Swiss cheese of my otherwise sunny side, to you, I say good day.

It's not you, it's me; I just don't feel it anymore.

It is time to announce that we (that nasty little worm of wariness and I) are no longer.

But, alas, like any good love story, this one is not easily ended. Like many a breakups, this one will be long and drawn out and it will take time to find my new position in the world.

That is okay. I am okay.

Or am I?

Damn you uncertainty, I already kicked you to the curb. No friends-with-benefits either.

None at all. I will learn to enjoy spending my Saturday afternoon in my undies, napping, noshing and needlessly repainting my nails. I will enjoy the silence of the house, save for a snoring dog and a ticking clock.

That ticking is not a time bomb, and neither am I.

But uncertainty? Well, it certainly is a bomb and I'm not about to let it blow here. If I wanted to talk bombs, I'd give my favourite pirate a shout (maybe even a leg up).

Smee… Smee… Smee, I just had a sublime vision. All the jagged parts of my life have come together to form a complete and mystical whole. An epiphany.

My life is over.

Yes, goodbye.

Goodbye, Smee.

No stopping me this time, Smee. This is it. Don't make a move, Smee. Not a step. My finger's on the trigger. Don't try to stop me Smee.

This is is. Don't try to stop me this time, Smee. Don't try to stop me this time, Smee. Don't you dare try to stop me this time, Smee. Try to stop me. Smee, you better get up off your ass get over here Smee.

This (if you haven't guessed it) is my favourite Captain Hook speech! You gotta respect a man who stuffs a giant alligator and turns him into a clock - all with one hand.

Rest assured, alligators are not endangered in Neverland.

Smiling with Smee (on Saturday),


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