Emphasizing the Employed

Well boys and girls, I guess I better drop the bomb.

I got a job.

Yep, that's right - this lady will no longer be living a life of leisure. I'm a working girl now.

Well, two weeks from now. Then I'll be the biggest bad ass employee you've ever seen. That's right, a big bad ass who bikes to work and vomits when faced with the prospect of public interaction.

I only got sick twice this morning. It could've been worse - once I got so nervous on a pet-themed photo shoot I graced a garbage can with the remnants of my lunch. I missed, slightly, but no worries, a lovely retriever took care of it.

I got some really good pictures of him and his owner was happy, so I called it a wash.

Thank goodness the majority of my new position is telephone based. Otherwise, it could get messy. I've worked the phones before, I know what they are about and I'm pretty darn good at what I do.

I'm paid to be happy. Let's just say I'm good with a mute button and even better with a flipped finger thumbs up.

I'm so cool. Like really, blistering and completely bitching cool.

Actually, I am. Do you know anyone else with paper puke bags decorated with glitter?

A life in the day of Linnie.

What do you think of me now? Is the glitter too much?

Faintly flippant,

L

Fill the Void, Social Media

Oh my darlings.

I plum forgot about Music Monday. I know, I know it's technically Tuesday now. As IF the Newf hasn't reminded me. Still, I found something with a good beat for you musically minded mentals.

After watching this, I think you'll see me online a lot more.

What do you think? I posted it's sibling way back in September. Oh, and regardless of what the video said, this commercial still makes me smile everytime.

Are you scared yet?

Is Big Brother watching? Or are you watching Big Brother?

Socially screwed,

L

Maybe She's Crazy: A Musical Note

You know what people? I like music. I really, really like music. I like music SO much I just made a big decision, based on music.

Music has the ability to change my mood in a heartbeat, increase productivity and make a party fabulous. It is a must have at the gym, a necessary luxury at work and an easy way to create your image.

Over the years I've dabbled in instruments, ranging from pianos to trombones, clarinets to accordions, drums to guitars.

When my life derails, music is the thing that picks me up and pushes me to go forward.

This is why, when I hit university I vowed to build my music collection and fill my bedroom with band posters - bands that I knew and loved, bands that I deserved to show my love for.

I got to work early and by the end of my first year at Trent University I had weaselled my way into a group of music junkies, started dating a hot DJ and more than doubled my music collection. I had my albums organized according to use - serious projects and papers needed serious albums (enter Our Lady Peace and The Doors), gym going requires energy (um, hello Dance Mix '92-'95) and party going requires some pump up tunes (how I love French Affair) while applying makeup and sipping wine.

As the years went on my roommates all turned into DJs or writers of some sort. One loved folk, the other wrote rap rhymes, there was an 80's guy and that hot DJ was still kicking around. Somehow, with all these different tastes three of the four boys created a band in our basement. The 80's guy taught me the basics on a bass guitar (I have manly fingers, what can I say).

Our house was known for blasting move in music out our windows with massive amps during student move-in week. We hosted coffee houses, keg parties and had more musical acts sleep on our couches than I can remember. I even partied on the tour bus with Default after a hard night at work. My music collection grew to unimaginable proportions and I was happy as a clam. I was musical.

Are you a pop girl? A rocker chick? Maybe a morose metal head, whatever you are the music you listen to defines you. Even if all you do is rock to the radio, that tells me something about you.

So there I was, recently graduated, exploring the new (and real) world; all with my music backing me.

Then my apartment exploded and I lost it all (a common theme). My music was lost and I felt like a part of me had gone missing too. The boys and groups I had partied with had scattered as everyone does after university and I was lost.

I spent months trying to find my footing. Then, the other day, it hit me. I realized I really didn't like me, I didn't like who I had become. My music was gone and I was miserable.

I made the decision that to get over this whole apartment fire I needed to surround myself with music. I needed that familiar friend pushing me to go forward. I had to look, where in my life was music lacking? At the gym? Nope, my MP3 player is stocked. At home? Certainly not. Work? Not so easy. There is no music at work, not a note.

Not only was there no music at work there was only yelling. How could I continue to work at a place that is missing music, in melodies or metaphorical form? There was no success at that place, only unpleasantness.

So, I quit. Yes, here I sit, technically unemployed (I prefer the title temporary housewife). I don't know what kind of job I want but I know I want music. I want at least a little radio on the desk or a little love during the day.

My job was wholly unpleasant for a number of reasons. I worked soft collections for a major financial institution. I hate fighting with people and even more, I hate repossessing houses. I hated taking away the homes when the feeling was so fresh in my mind. The straw that broke the camel's back? NO MUSIC. They could have at least given me a radio to perk me up as my client was smashing me down.

So I guess my question is: are you hiring? Will you let me play some music? I promise to be quiet and I have a huge selection to choose from! If you are really nice, I'll even let you control remote (now that's love).

Musically motivated,

L

Let's Talk About Sex: Don't Ask, Don't Tell

Daddy always said I avoid speaking about politics and religion. Well, this may be political, it may be religious but above all else it is sexual.

Recently the "don't ask, don't tell" policy entered into the news, the Canadian news. It's a cold day when (you hit the Canadian news).

Well, here is my two cents about the matter.

First, I think that gays have as much of a right to fight for their country than anyone else. Gay, straight, bisexual, who cares? It does not matter to me, nor should it matter to anyone else.

Second, I do not agree with the policy as it currently stands. Sexual orientation, like an individual's sex, should not play a role in one's employment. One should not fear being found out (unless they are touting cocaine across a border, or something of the same).

Third, I agree with the statement, "don't ask, don't tell" in its raw state, free of the bill currently on the table. This statement needs to apply to all.

Currently, in the Canadian military one is not permitted to have a relationship of any sexual substance while deployed. This applies to any type of sexual relationship, regardless of orientation.

Whether deployed or not, why does one have to advertise their sexual orientation? Is this not gauche? A man who walks up to me, all muscles and attitude, coyly mumbling, "Hey baby, I'd like a ride on your gravy train!" gets as much attention as some woman telling me what "wonderful tits" I have.

Unless I am actively searching for a sexual partner, and a quick one at that, any type of advances from any individual are unneeded. If you know me well your advances are even less likely to be desired (as I am currently married to the Newf and he doesn't take well to competition).

So, while in the military I do not see the reason why any one individual would ever have to discuss their sexual orientation. I cannot think of an instance where saying "Oh, by the way, I'm gay/hetero/bi." is going to improve the combative situation, or further, a tense work environment. Your orientation isn't going to pull that trigger faster.

If your flashy mannerisms express your sexuality, hetero or homo, they should be toned down. One needs to be aware of their actions and how they affect others. Sexual advances or connotations are not always desired and they can constitute harassment.

Are you in favour of a "don't ask, don't tell" policy? Do you have your own view of an appropriate policy? Do you think I'm completely out to lunch with my idea?

DO TELL!

Armed and dangerous,

L

Wicked Wednesday: How Dated Are You?

On Monday I promised you something fabulous, provided you liked the Music Monday feature, Right Here, Right Now by Fatboy Slim.

Well, here is a video that I cannot get enough of.  It ramps me up and winds me down, all at the same time.  The music is the same Fatboy song but the video is completely different.

It was actually presented at Sony's annual meeting a couple of years ago.  It knocked my socks of.

This is not for those who puff themselves up with feigned importance.

Turn the volume up and give this bad boy a full size screen.  It is worth it.

Now, keep in mind this video is a couple years old.  

How small do you feel?  

Typically small equates to insignificant but that isn't how I feel after watching this.  Instead I feel invigorated and ready for the world.  Ready to show everyone how cool I really am.

I hope you feel the same way.

What are your thoughts?  Do tell!

Corporations aren't all bad, I suppose.  Well, we'll see.

Pensive and pretty,

L