Tuesday is Trouble: Let's Find Some

Good afternoon readers,

Question for you:

What type of person are you?  What type of person do you want to be?

I ask because most of us are rarely who we want to be.  How many of us are changing to be what others think we should be or feel strong social pressures?  How many of us are desperately trying to fit a mold we broke years ago?  Is this what you pictured five, ten, fifteen years ago?

Granted when I was a young child I wanted to be the sun.  I wanted to be that big ball in the sky, shining and always making people happy.  By the time I hit sixteen I was a big ball of fire all right, just ask my mother.  That doesn't mean I was happy with me (somehow I don't think most teenage girls are).

Some time went by and I hit university.  Gone were my geeky unpopular days and in entered Linnie the girl of luck, love and parties.  I was still geeky but it was cool to be geeky.  I was somebody: the makeup artist, the bouncer, the bartender, or the girl who wrote your paper for some extra cash.

I graduated and started looking for my niche.  Fun work considering I was ready (and had the wardrobe to boot).

Some more time went by and I suffered an explosion that literally ripped my room apart.  As I was looking at my knickers and knickknacks littered along Bayfield Street something broke.  I wasn't alright.  I was scared.  I began to hide from the world.

Then, I got married.  As much as I love the Newf and he loves me, marriage doesn't exactly encourage individualism.

Well, two and a half years later and I am ready to set the stage for wickedness again.  It has take some time and I have a lot of remodelling to do but I am ready to kick this can.

Who wants to join me?  What skin do you need to shed?

I can't promise you'll turn into an official superhero but I am sure we can work something out.  Sometimes, all you need is a little push and a little company.  We aren't behind, we are just getting started.

Ladies and gents, welcome to my world.  Welcome to our world; it is what we make it.

Wicked and ready,

L

Music Monday: Right Here, Right Now

Good morning readers!

It is time for another Music Monday and I could not need it more.  Today, I do battle of the worst kind; today I battle a bureaucracy.  

Whenever one does battle it is important to be prepared.  Musical beats are invaluable in this regard.  They ramp you up, provide encouragement and improve your mood while you ready to lay the smack-down, open a can of whoop ass, or whatever it is you need to do.

If you *gasp* lose, you can come home and turn that frown upside down.  That phrase itself is sickening enough so let us not think about that angle.  

This week, we are going to win.  I have decided and sometimes the decision is all it takes.  Despite my current cold, my anxiety and visiting Dumpster Dog, let's kick off a Boosterish Badass Week and just rock it.

I'll need your help, but rock it we shall.

The song I have chosen for today not only gets the blood flowing but has an amazing video to accompany it.  This video condenses the process of evolution into three and a half minutes (it's better than Cole's notes people).

Without further ado, I present "Right Here, Right Now" by the fabulous Fatboy Slim.

Note that the boy's t-shirt read, "I'm #1 So Why Try Harder".  That's right kiddos, we are on the top of this pile so let's shake this boat.  

If you like this video, keep your eyes open for another to follow in the near future.  

How do you prepare yourselves for a nervous day?  Do you have any tricks to de-stress and calm your nerves?

Wishing you well in the week to come - remember we are almost into long weekend territory!

Beaten down but ready to beat,

L

It's a Sick Sunday: All About Me

Good evening folks,

So, hopefully you have been reading along, enjoying my content and sarcasm.  You are slowly learning about me and gathering info on some off-the-wall social skills.

You are likely wondering where I am going with this blog.

Well, I don't quite know yet.  I am hoping to pass on the wisdom of benefit of etiquette while encouraging you (and me) to be the best we can be.  Right now I am attempting to figure out a routine and suitable subjects all while including everything I want to say.

I need to be a little more candid.  This piece has been very difficult for me because as a business writer I avoid using the word "I" like the plague.  It always makes me feel like the sun - self-centred.

If I am lucky enough to have dutiful readers you may (or may not) be wondering who, exactly, I am.  Well, hold on to your bonnets because I aim to give you a little look into the world of Linnie.

I have composed a list of twenty things about me.  Seeing as I am in a silly mood, I have made an attempt at humour.  I assure you, everything written is actually correct, if a little weird.

Folks, weird is just how I roll - I am always a little off kilter.

Enjoy!

• I have lived through an explosion (and subsequent fire) that levelled the better part of a city block.
• I have lived through a major flood (and only got a little wet).
• When surrounded by multiple funnel clouds, I took a shower in the rain and called my colleagues cowards.
• I am actually terrified of tornadoes.  Little did I know that my mother had lied when she told me tornadoes need the sun to touch down.  It was the only way she could get me to sleep and I believed her until I was sixteen.
• The only time my father visited a strip club (that I know of), I told him which one to go to.
• My husband went to the strip club too.
• Shortly before the aforementioned explosion I was offered a stripping job.  I was unemployed and considering it until the strip club burned (I have a way with fire).
• I met the Newf and eight months later I married him.
• The Newf proposed while I was in handcuffs.  It was very quick and a matter of necessity.  We are just that romantic.
• I am scared of the dark.  I have lots of night lights and a big 'ol Maglite, just in case.
• I really, really like cars and insist on driving a stick shift.  It's hot (and so much fun).
• I am a dancing machine.
• I grew up in a town of approximately 1200 people.  I consider myself hillbilly chic.
• Lucan, my hometown, is the home of the Black Donnellys, one of Canada's largest unsolved murders.  Check them out here.
• As a result of my small town farming roots I know a lot about animals.  I love them dearly but define them strictly as animals (no doggie strollers or sweaters here).
• I have never been awarded less than second place in a wet t-shirt contest.
• My fine china is not hidden away in a cabinet.  I use my best everyday.
• Judith Martin, aka Miss Manners, is my hero.  She is simply devine.
• I have eight piercings (only six have jewellery) but do not consider myself overly Holy.

Now that you are suitably frightened (and hopefully intrigued) I will ask: What should I know about you?  Do you have a list?  An interesting tidbit?  Leave a note (or a URL) below so I can check YOU out!

Cleverly candid,

L

Piglets and Tiaras

Friends,

I have some fabulous news, I get the Beast back tomorrow!  He was staying at my brother and sister's while we were in Newfoundland and this weekend we get him back!

He is 120 pounds (and growing) of black fur and he tends to follow me around everywhere I go.  The Beast is fabulous company (in his mind I am always right) and I have missed him.

These last few days I have settled for the company of Napoleon, the Newf's pet guinea pig.  Normally I would give him a false name, as I do with everyone in my blog but this pig can take you down.  He's gruff, tough and a distant descendant of the The Killer Rabbit, whose fluffiness belies its murderous intent.  You may remember the infamous rabbit from the humorous flick, Monty Python and the Holy Grail.  If you have not already watched this classic you must, I highly recommend it.

But I digress.  The Newf rescued the runt because he was suffering at the hand of all the other pigs.  They were beating him up.  His first day home the little guy was covered in scars, scabs and skinny as anything.

In true Napoleon style, this pig has exploded and taken over every morsel of food he possibly could.  Napoleon has also grown a fondness for the Newf which the boy could not be prouder of.  

Notice the double chin.

He gets rather feisty and despises having his nails clipped.  Having a number of pounds on the little guy I do have to force it on him.  The Newf usually leaves the room as he cannot bear to see someone force unpleasantness on his piggy friend (despite the fact his nails could pass as misshapen claws).  I assure you, the deed was done directly after this picture.

Napoleon loves his luxuries.  Grapes and apples are his favourite.  He's drunk on berries, if you will.

Eating, eating and more eating.

As you can see, the tiny pig the Newf originally brought home is no longer.  We are left with a loud, proud squeaking machine.  He is a rotund little fella and despite his size he makes his presence known (especially when the refrigerator is opened).

RANDOM FARM FACT: Guinea pigs are often used to keep barn rats at bay.  Their squeak is very similar to that of a big, Babe-like pig.  Rats are terrified of big pigs because big pigs have a tendency to stamp rats out.  Contrary to popular belief (and multiple children's movies) pigs have a nasty temper when it comes to things like blood and rats.  

So, to anyone who is feeling down in the dumps: if Napoleon can do it, you can too.

Have a great weekend!

Pig loving and pretty,

L 

Traditional Thursday: All About Brides and Babies

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen,

How has your week been?  Have you romped and roamed and made your way back to the weekend?  I certainly hope so.

I have been back from my Newfoundland vacation for two days, and my readers, I need a break.  Silly, I know, but c'est la vie.

As I sit here, listening to Mr. Jimi Hendrix (one of my best blue mood friends, who can keep from making "fox" ears and grins?) I think it best to keep things light and simple.  

One of the very first rules of society my lovely mother taught me was the rule of no exception.  Normally there is an exception to every rule and I am usually the one to find just that abberation.  However, this is not the case today.

All babies and all brides are beautiful.

Yes, you heard me.  It is a law and how I do wish the government would put it into writing.  Regardless of the situation, mood or actual visual appearance, every single bride and baby I have ever laid eyes on is beautiful.  They may not be cute or sassy, sexy or smart, but they are all beautiful.  If I hear you say otherwise I will personally cuff and collar you.

I know, I know, there are some babies with giant misshapen heads (forceps anyone) and some brides channel too much Miss Piggy (on glue and sequins) but these creatures are all beautiful.

This law serves two purposes:

1.) This way everyone is beautiful at some point in their lives; and

2.) It prevents you from ever hesitating at gasping, "Oh goodness he/she is just beautiful!" when presented with a baby or a bride.

This may seem callous or odd, you may never have laid eyes on a bride or baby you considered anything but beautiful.  Unfortunately it should be known that not everyone is away of this rule.  Some have fallen to their social death by refraining from admitting a baby or bride's beauty.  Even worse are those who feel the need to state their opinion.  

These people, obviously, were unaware of the rule which renders their opinion moot.

Being a baby or a bride is not an easy task.  Folks, these creatures are under stress from poking and prodding and diaper changes.  They deserve a little bit of love and a little bit of beauty.

Bound and battered,

L

Wicked Wednesday: Pop Art Poetry

Good afternoon my lovelies,

After arriving home late last night I have used today to catch up on laundry and SLEEP. However, I have a delightful little tidbit for you! The other day I stumbled upon a fantastic little poem that I wanted to share. I do believe it will become my new mantra for life.

Please enjoy the quick but thought provoking read, "Self Pity" by D.H. Lawrence:

     I never saw a wild thing

     Sorry for itself.

     A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough

     Without ever having felt sorry for itself.

I could certainly take a page from the little birdie's book.  Like a dog's unwavering loyalty, I do believe there are a number of traits that we, as humans, could use a little more of.

What are your thoughts? Do you have a specific view or love for poetry?

Bye bye (birdie),

L

Music Monday: The Navigators and Newfoundland

Hello cool cats!

I am still rocking out in St. John's, Newfoundland and as such have a quick but east coast feel to this week's Music Monday.

This is going to be a quick one - I do hope you have a fabulous week lined up!

Unfortunately I was not able to find a decent video of this song.  In all I did find, either the videographer or the musicians were MUCH too drunk to make the video worthwhile.  Typical Newfoundland style, I suppose.

This is my favourite Newfoundland song; the Newf has played it countless times since we met.  The pictures in the video were taken approximately four years ago by an individual called Kural.  You can view his YouTube Channel here.
For your Music Monday, I have selected "The Islander" by The Navigators.  Enjoy! 

After meeting countless Newfoundlanders, men, women and children I can tell you that this song rings true.  I know that my Newf would certainly fight to protect his province and I know that he goes bonkers in the city.

With the party over, tomorrow we head out for some photo ops and sightseeing.  It will be nice to have a relaxing day that is alcohol free.

In Newfoundland and completely smitten,

L  

A Pre-Bliss Quiz: Blissdom Canada '10

Good evening kids,

It has been a fabulous trip to date and I cannot believe it is almost over!

In the meantime, I have some news!  Before I left, I arranged to visit a blogging conference called "Blissdom Canada".  It is something new to try and I hope to learn LOTS to keep things chugging along here.

Some of the other ladies attending the conference have a little quiz going which you will see below!

1.) Did you attend Blogher '10?

No, I did not!  I am brand new to the blogging world!

2.) Are you attending Blissdom Canada this fall?

Yes, indeed I am.

3.) When are you at your blogging best - A.M. or P.M.?

I tend to blog the best late at night, which can typically translate into the wee hours of the morning.  I blog when I am in the mood.

4.) How many blogs do you have?  Include links!

I only have this one, Linnie gets Laced.

5.) What technical skills would you like to learn to improve your blog?

I hope to learn more about coding and promotion, as well as different platforms and social media.  Networking will be key as well.

6.) Do you prefer the sound of silence or does action abound while you blog?

I prefer having some kind of noise, whether that be a fantastic movie (Casino Royale plays as we speak) or some amazing music, to keep me company.

7.) Do you include the names of your family in your blog?

No, I do not.  All names have been changed to protect the privacy of those written about.  My family members and their stories, however, are 100% bonafide.

8.) Do you post pictures or videos of your children?

No.  I do not have any children, so that is an easy answer.

9.) What's the grossest thing you've spilled on your keyboard?

Hmmmm, I have gotten a TON of dog slobber on this bad boy.  That is complements of the Beast (and very gross) especially when it is mixed in with bits of his dinner.

10.) Have you ever posted something you wrote while intoxicated?

No, nothing is published while I've been at the sauce.  It's like drunk dialling folks - just don't do it.

11.) Do you go back and edit old posts just because you can?

I have only done so because of a spelling error or formatting issue.  I try to be fanatical about spelling.  However, if I was to alter the content of a post, I would certainly mark the post to let my readers know!
EDIT: I have found myself consistently editing posts due to spelling, grammatical and formatting issues.  This counts as editing.  My answer is therefore: Yes, I edit my posts because I can.  That is how I roll.

12.) Have you ever suspected somebody took something you write and pawned it off as their own?

Yes, I have.  Without absolute proof, however, they are just that: suspected.  Seeing as imitation is the best form of flattery, I try not to get my panties in a bunch about it.

13.) Does your spouse read your blog?  What do they say about it?

Yes, the Newf reads my blog.  He tells me exactly what he thinks, that is just the type of guy he is.  Don't ask if you don't want the answer.  I appreciate his honesty though.

14.) What's something cool/positive/unexpected for you that has resulted directly from blogging?

I am starting to found something that I thought I had lost forever, a sense of confidence and pride in my work.  I am also learning to network!

15.) Link to a post (or a few) which demonstrate your writing style:

"Welcome to the Wild West (You are in for a rough ride)"

"Party Crash (A How-To Guide)"

"Famous and Fruity: Here's to You Mom" 

16.) Name a blog (or blogs) that make you exclaim, "Damn! I wish I'd written that!"

Well, there are blogs I greatly enjoy but I find a blog suits its writer.  I tend to do things to the beat of my own drum, however, the blog that inspired me to start my own is So Fawned, written by Ms. Desiree Fawn.  It really piqued my interest in it's first year.

I would also give a heartfelt thank you to both Tara at Tara's View of the World and Tamara at Blog Conference Guide for the (Un)Experienced for all of their support and encouragement!

So, please, if you are a fellow blogger attending this conference drop me a line!  Maybe we can meet up, go for a drink, and otherwise dispel our pre-conference jitters!



Quizzed and quizzical,

L

Traditional Thursday: Let's get Down to Business

Happy Thursday to you, my darlings!

I have always felt Thursdays needed a little love and something different than routine.  Thursday, in my mind, is like the last minute of regulation time with Friday acting as overtime.  Nothing actually gets done on Friday unless it absolutely has to, or unless by some stroke of genius (or luck) things fall into place and you cannot help yourself in putting that puzzle together.

Well, my friends, Thursday has a better use than acting as Friday's understudy.  Thursday is that final day of routine and tradition.  Let us make our Thursdays together a quick minute of tradition with which to prepare for the roaring party which about to begin on Friday.  Even if your weekend plans consist of nothing but some greasy take-out, sweats and the most comfortable couch in the world, those plans deserve a tad of class.

Let us reinforce and encourage the need for sophistication on Thursdays.  Let us enjoy a "Traditional Thursday" every week.

This week I will begin with a quick and easy discussion of etiquette and manners.  Now please, do not let these words terrify you.  Do not let visions of Cruella-esque women draped in furs or thoughts of an awkwardly proper and suitably depressing, politician (a number come to mind) crowd your mind.  Please do not fear giving up your pleasant personality, for etiquette and manners are none of the above.

Etiquette is simply the customary code that people in polite society are expected to follow.  This means that etiquette can, and does, change wildly depending on whose company you are sharing.  

Manners are the actual interactions in which you get to show off your etiquette.  

Now folks, you don't need cash or a wad of bills to to be well-behaved.  You don't need a ton of bling or a sugar daddy to boost your behaviour.  Proper etiquette does not equal money.  Proper people have two concerns: ensuring those within their company are comfortable and ensuring that they, themselves are presented in a complimentary manner.  This kind of endeavour requires nothing more than personal class and a charming temperament.

There is a group of silly people who will wander around, spouting sentences about their better behaviour and making it seem as if they are polite, proper and just so much better than you.  They will point out their assumed points of refinements and brag about having brand names and things like "P. Diddy" scribed across their chest.  Well, do not listen to these ridiculous statements.  There is nothing more improper than blowing your own horn and making others feel poorly about themselves.  In fact, this is exactly the opposite of a well-behaved individual.

To those who take part in public self-gratification, I thumb my nose at you.  Take that, boys and girls.

There are no excuses here boys and girls.  You either are or you aren't.  The good news, is that you get to decide what side of the line you stand on.

As we enter into the weekend and you begin entertaining and socializing keep in mind those around you.  Are you in a funky mood?  Could you provide someone a friendly compliment or kind word?  Is there someone you could provide a chair too?

Think my friends, then act.  If you build this habit you will be remembered, remembered and full of class.

Fine and fabulous,

L