Good evening folks,
So, hopefully you have been reading along, enjoying my content and sarcasm. You are slowly learning about me and gathering info on some off-the-wall social skills.
You are likely wondering where I am going with this blog.
Well, I don't quite know yet. I am hoping to pass on the wisdom of benefit of etiquette while encouraging you (and me) to be the best we can be. Right now I am attempting to figure out a routine and suitable subjects all while including everything I want to say.
I need to be a little more candid. This piece has been very difficult for me because as a business writer I avoid using the word "I" like the plague. It always makes me feel like the sun - self-centred.
If I am lucky enough to have dutiful readers you may (or may not) be wondering who, exactly, I am. Well, hold on to your bonnets because I aim to give you a little look into the world of Linnie.
I have composed a list of twenty things about me. Seeing as I am in a silly mood, I have made an attempt at humour. I assure you, everything written is actually correct, if a little weird.
Folks, weird is just how I roll - I am always a little off kilter.
- I have lived through an explosion (and subsequent fire) that levelled the better part of a city block.
- I have lived through a major flood (and only got a little wet).
- When surrounded by multiple funnel clouds, I took a shower in the rain and called my colleagues cowards.
- I am actually terrified of tornadoes. Little did I know that my mother had lied when she told me tornadoes need the sun to touch down. It was the only way she could get me to sleep and I believed her until I was sixteen.
- The only time my father visited a strip club (that I know of), I told him which one to go to.
- My husband went to the strip club too.
- Shortly before the aforementioned explosion I was offered a stripping job. I was unemployed and considering it until the strip club burned (I have a way with fire).
- I met the Newf and eight months later I married him.
- The Newf proposed while I was in handcuffs. It was very quick and a matter of necessity. We are just that romantic.
- I am scared of the dark. I have lots of night lights and a big 'ol Maglite, just in case.
- I really, really like cars and insist on driving a stick shift. It's hot (and so much fun).
- I am a dancing machine.
- I grew up in a town of approximately 1200 people. I consider myself hillbilly chic.
- Lucan, my hometown, is the home of the Black Donnellys, one of Canada's largest unsolved murders. Check them out here.
- As a result of my small town farming roots I know a lot about animals. I love them dearly but define them strictly as animals (no doggie strollers or sweaters here).
- I have never been awarded less than second place in a wet t-shirt contest.
- My fine china is not hidden away in a cabinet. I use my best everyday.
- Judith Martin, aka Miss Manners, is my hero. She is simply devine.
- I have eight piercings (only six have jewellery) but do not consider myself overly Holy.
Now that you are suitably frightened (and hopefully intrigued) I will ask: What should I know about you? Do you have a list? An interesting tidbit? Leave a note (or a URL) below so I can check YOU out!